Physical carnal beings naturally oppose God’s law. Man tends to ask himself what he can get away with without crossing the line. But we in the Church have a special calling to help restore the Kingdom, government and character of God, and that requires a different attitude towards God’s law. God’s perfect law is the basis of His government—something He typified in the family relationship. Examining the institution of family is a wonderful way to learn more about our special future and God’s great plan for all mankind.
God gave a specific commandment to help keep our families and nations strong. It is a law that will be enforced in the Millennium, and a law that you can obey and be tremendously blessed by today. When you obey it properly, it will set you apart from your peers in the world in a most noticeable way. This law is the Fifth Commandment, and you can use it to let your light shine to the world.
First Commandment With Promise
Parents are the direct representatives of God to children. “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Deuteronomy 5:16). The Hebrew word for honor means abounding, rich or to promote to honor. God requires us to abound with honor for our parents in both words and deeds.
In The Ten Commandments, Dennis Leap writes: “The First Commandment requires mankind to give honor to God’s high office of authority as Creator. The Fifth Commandment requires all men to honor the highest human office—that of parents. This commandment then forms the bridge between the two great sections of God’s law. We will never attain true spiritual and physical success without giving honor and obedience to God. Do we see that the same is true of our human parents?” (emphasis added throughout).
Your relationship to your parents is an exact type of the spiritual relationship between converted Christians and God the Father. In his July 5 sermon, Evangelist Stephen Flurry observed that the law for children obeying their parents in the Fifth Commandment closely trails the fundamental instruction for our lives in the first and primary commandment: to honor God and put nothing before Him. This bridge commandment follows the first four commandments, which teach us how to honor God the Father.
Ephesians 6:1-2 states, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise).” Notice that the father is mentioned first. Your father should hold the preeminent position in your family because he typifies God the Father. You need to obey and deeply honor your father. Fatherhood has taken a real beating for decades. Fathers are marginalized in cartoons, commercials, sitcoms, movies, etc. They are depicted as irresponsible, dumb, lazy, incompetent and generally stupid. The media portray men this way and then portray women as the complete opposite extreme. Has this image rubbed off on you? Do you see your father as your provider, protector, love-giver, teacher and law enforcer?
All laws have blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience. But this is the first commandment that spells out specific promises: “That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (verse 3). Merriam-Webster defines honor as “esteem or hold in high regard; to prize; reverence; to have profound respect mingled with love or devotion.” That is a tall order! Yet it is one that will bring you undreamed blessings and happiness. Are you depriving yourself of these riches?
Beyond the blessing of a life of greater peace, joy and happiness—an abundant life filled with worthwhile opportunities as well as protection from injury, illness or untimely death—this promise includes wisdom and understanding, health, prosperity and even a compatible and loving spouse (Proverbs 3:4; 8:3; 18:22; 3 John 2).
Here are some specific ways that you can deepen your understanding of how to honor your parents.
1. Heed their instruction.
Proverbs 1:8 says, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.” This scripture draws a distinction between instruction and laws. Instruction refers to the knowledge needed to make wise decisions for you—the long-term education that will teach you why you should obey. God lives by His law. God never compromises with His law, yet He doesn’t need to fear correction; nor does He yearn for blessings. He doesn’t even have to be concerned with pleasing a parent. Yet God still lives this way Himself. Why? Because it is the right thing to do! Now that is long-term thinking.
“For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck” (verse 9). Solomon is pleading with young people. The book of Proverbs is full of instruction that will be an ornament of grace—a crown—on your head. Genesis 41:42 shows Joseph being promoted by Pharaoh with a gold chain and clothes, identifying Joseph as a ruler. Heeding your parent’s instruction will set you up for a position of rulership in the future just like Joseph. Your parents have a lot more life experience than you do. They better understand the long-term effects of your actions and attitudes. Most importantly, they understand that you have the firstfruit reward awaiting you after conversion—if you choose to go after it.
Proverbs 15:5 says, “A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.” Understand why you are corrected and be circumspect of it—take heed. God says honor will follow if you look into the reasons why you were reprimanded. Doing so will give you understanding (Proverbs 13:1, 18). Fearing your parents—to hold them in reverential love and respect with a fear of disobedience—is what sets you apart from the world. It is a requirement for being holy. Proper respect for your parents will reflect in your respect for all authority. “Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:32).
2. Uphold and highly esteem your family name.
What you do reflects on your parents. We carry a family name. “Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother …” (Deuteronomy 27:16). Strong’s Concordance defines setteth light as “hold in contempt, despise or lightly esteem.” The contempt of parents is a sin so heinous that it is on the level of contempt for God Himself. If a child abused his parents, either in word or deed, he fell under the magistrate’s sentence of being put to death (Exodus 21:15, 17). The magistrate could not know if someone held his parents in contempt in his heart. But God does. God, who knows men’s hearts, pronounces a curse on children who carry themselves scornfully and insolently toward their parents. In other words, God knows your attitude toward parental authority.
Proverbs 20:20 warns, “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.” Their lamp shall be put out—they shall have no posterity; God shall cut them off. Spiritually speaking, they will die forever. “And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death” (Exodus 21:17). This was a physical punishment, but it is a type of eternal death. See how this apparent physical commandment has eternal consequences? How important is it to learn to honor, obey and deeply respect your physical parents? If you understand this bridge commandment, then you know it is something that has eternal consequences.
3. Honor your parents in their respective roles.
Direct your questions and conversations more and more to toward your dad. Become reacquainted with the man who holds the title “father.” Let it be known in your family that you hold his advice in high regard. Listen respectfully and patiently to his accounts of activities of bygone days. Glean carefully the many noteworthy items that will prove blessings to your store of knowledge. Don’t undermine his authority by going to your mother for a second opinion. Playing those sorts of manipulative games with your parents tells God a lot about your lack of character and respect for Him.
4. Honor your parents as long as they live.
Learn to value the work and effort your parents put in while you were younger. “The habit of obedience in youth should naturally grow into the habit of expressing deep and continual appreciation for parents. Adult children convey this kind of honor in acts of courtesy, thoughtfulness and kind actions. … When parents grow old, it is time to return the same depth of love and service. Many parents ache for the love, affection and attention of their grown children. Yet, to the shame of many adult children, in many cases this kind of love never comes” (ibid).
Within your power, you need to provide for the care of your parents until their death (John 19:26-27). Jesus made sure that John would take care of Mary after His death. While most any other man would focus on self, Christ focused on obedience to the Fifth Commandment. He remembered the labor, concern and teaching that His mother had given Him since infancy and extended to her the honor that she deserved.
Sin of Omission
Recognize the sin of disobedience. While we often think of sin as the deliberate breaking of a commandment, we could also see sin in a more subtle way (James 4:17). There are two types of sin: commission and omission. Obedience can be seen as simply following the letter of the law. You must grow beyond that. Active obedience means going above and beyond what is required (Luke 17:10). It means you pursue the intent of the law.
Will you follow your parental instruction—even when they are not watching? God is watching! God never compromises with His law. Jesus Christ set a perfect example of how to honor both physical parents, as well as His heavenly Father. Remember, it is through this vital Fifth Commandment that God has sustained and perpetuated His law and truth through the ages—from generation to generation on into His soon-coming Kingdom. Seek to keep the full intent of the Fifth Commandment—your eternal destiny depends on it!
True honor toward parents is a rare phenomenon in our day. It will make you stand out. Be that beacon that shines in a dark world by showing obedience, respect and honor toward your parents. By doing so, you will have a much easier time learning to submit to the ultimate authority of our Heavenly Father, who will bless you for that attitude—both in this life as well as the Millennial position He is preparing for you.
Don’t allow your lamp to be put out by neglecting this important bridge commandment, which shows not only how to obey your physical parents, but also how to submit yourself to God.