When I first started the online dating, I was afraid I wouldn’t know what to talk about during dates. I decided to prepare questions, thinking that when neither my date nor I know what to say I would ask a question. This worked quite well for a while.
On one date, however, I used all my questions within half an hour. So, there it was—that awful moment when both of us are trying to think of a random question to stop the awful quietness. I’ve had a few of these moments on previous dates, but this time I really didn’t know what to say. Finally, I came up with questions involving our future: “What do you imagine the World Tomorrow will be like?” and “When you get the chance to re-create a planet, what will it look like?” Thankfully, this took the pressure off both of us.
I have included these types of questions in my following online dates, but I have discovered a better technique to avoid possible awkward silences: a good schedule.
In Germany, we have a saying: “A good plan is half the rent.” This has turned out to be true for dating. This is the schedule I use. First, we have a relaxed conversation about general and personal things. Then, we visit theTrumpet.com and PCOG.org and talk about their articles. The latter leads to deeper questions on deeper subjects. After than, we have a music session and then we discuss any other subjects my date wants to talk about.
Obviously, I’ve had to adjust my questions and plan for every new date. The schedule has worked well for some, better for others and for some it seemed to be the perfect schedule. Each time I planned ahead, this made my dates much more relaxing—both for me and the ladies. Because of this plan, they didn’t need to worry or ask random questions to fill the silence. Instead, they could relax and give input whenever they wished. I also found out that it makes the date much more pleasant overall.
Whenever possible, I try to plan a trip outside with my date. Occasionally, we will also eat together. The scenery and change of pace makes the dates more enjoyable.
Once I had a good plan, I adjusted it slightly due to the personality of my date. Some could talk about prophecy the whole time, others preferred to answer questions, and others were excited to sing or play an instrument. This made each date different and special. My goal was to use each date to see the qualities God sees in His single ladies. Before each date, I always wrote an e-mail so we would have a foundational knowledge of each other to build on.
I have learned that a date goes well when I give it my best in preparation. Of course, that is only “half the rent”; for the best dates, both sides need to have a positive approach.