It was a beautiful Sabbath morning. I was still in my cozy pajamas, wearing my favorite tie-dye crewneck, enjoying my Bible study. My cup-of-joe was in my hand as well, so it was a good morning. As I was reading, I saw a little dark spot on my shirt below. I assumed it was fluff or some hair that got stuck to me, but to my surprise, it was alive. It was a spider!

I SCREAMED.

Before I had time to logically process this, my chair was on the ground behind me. I was tugging on my shirt frantically trying to get his tentacles off me. Finally, he dropped off. If I had just stayed calm, I could have easily brushed him off, but I panicked! Little did I know, this was only the beginning of my summer long trial.

One night, one was crawling on the wall. I yelled. My roommate leisurely strolled into the room, already knowing what my shrieks meant. She grabbed her shoe, and not just hit it, but pressed it into the corner to squish it! Ugh! My skin crawled and I shivered. I could never do that. What if I did not squeeze it hard enough and it ran away? What if it crawled on me? This went through my head every time I saw a spider, knowing I was now responsible for carrying out its execution. My roommate then proceeded to pick it up by its LEG! I was squealing inside and outside. How does she do that?!

These kinds of confrontations with the arachnid world kept happening throughout the summer. Soon it was S.E.P., and we were all hearing about how we must overcome our fears. Most of this applied to rappelling (which many campers were a success at!). I began to wonder, Is it time to get over this silly irrational fear of a little bug? I started to ask myself why I was so afraid of them. I don’t fear them because they are poisonous—plenty of poisonous insects and animals don’t bother me. I realized after meditating on this that I fear them because of how they look. It is as irrational as fearing zip-lining and rappelling even though you know you are locked in safely and the rope will catch you if you fall.

I thought of my brother and fellow dormmate who are both fascinated with insects. One time, I was walking to services with my dormmate, and she stopped me: “Look!” We looked down to see a little, fuzzy, wolf spider with 2 big eyes. He was actually … kind of cute! I realized I had no reason to be this afraid of these creatures. Afterall, they are God’s creation.

So, I took it to God. Nothing is too small to talk to God about, especially if overcoming it can help you develop courage and faith—vital aspects of character. This is what all the little—and the big—trials are about. I asked God for courage when I needed it. I also asked Him to help me see them the way He does.

Next, I worked to see it from a positive perspective. I tried to look at them through my brother’s, my classmate’s and other peoples’ eyes who I know admire the spider’s design. Being an artist, I should know there is nothing wrong with a spider. It is proportionally and masterfully designed, and it is a work of complex engineering. I studied their design and began to make them more familiar to myself. We often fear what we do not know enough about. I knew it was all in my head, so the way to get over it was to change the way I perceived them. I decided to do a little research and the facts I found amazed me.

Did you know it can be said that spiders are one of nature’s best engineers? Some sources praised them for their “engineering excellence.” Their silk webs have inspired inventions such as more breathable and lightweight body armor, materials used in aeronautics to make stronger but not heavier parts, and there is even research being done now on how to make microphones based on their design. Spiders do not have ears. They “hear” by feeling the sound waves hitting their webs and reaching their bodies. Their webs are super sensitive, picking up noise up to 10 feet away. Imitating this construction could revolutionize the way we build sound systems, including helping humans with hearing issues. They are fascinating creatures!

Lastly, I worked to overcome my fear of them through exposure to them. I will walk up to them—at a safe distance of course—and observe them. I have come across two very large ones outside already and just watched them for a minute. The other step is, as you know, facing them and squishing them when I need to. I try to not squeal or panic now—that always makes it harder (and they usually get away).

I realized this is a good way to overcome any irrational fear. Go to God about it, learn about it, take baby steps to conquer it—and you will be braver for it!