Modern psychologists have spent the last three or four decades vigorously scrutinizing every move of disobedient children. And what conclusions have they drawn from their observations? What advice do they offer frustrated parents? Little more than what they themselves have been doing. Just observe them! One recent article suggested that because temper tantrums among toddlers are “normal,” we ought to do nothing—stay away from the child and allow the angry outburst to play itself out.

While man advises a hands-off approach, God’s instruction on child rearing is very much hands on. Because of Satan’s influence on the human mind, we can safely say that temper tantrums are “normal”—but that doesn’t make them right. God expects us to train up children properly so that, as adults, they do what’s right, not what comes naturally (Proverbs 22:6).

In his booklet The Plain Truth About Child Rearing, Garner Ted Armstrong described an all-too-common scene in just about any restaurant in America. Johnny is only 2½ years old. After playing with his silverware for a while, he deliberately throws his knife on the floor. The father quickly picks up the knife and then takes away all the silverware from him. Johnny immediately bursts into loud crying and yelling, whereupon his father embarrassingly urges him to be quiet. Johnny gets louder. Avoiding further embarrassment, the father retreats and gives the silverware back to the spoiled child, confirming, at least in the child’s mind, that anger pays off!

The above “solution” may bring temporary peace and quiet for that particular dinner, but it does nothing to prevent it from happening again at thousands of other meals; and it certainly does nothing to teach that child obedience to God’s law of love.

In the above scenario, what should the father do? First, he should pick up the knife, return it to its proper place on the table, and then, while looking directly into the eyes of the child, say calmly, and yet firmly, “No! Do not touch.” Chances are, even with children who have been trained properly at home, Johnny will immediately reach for the silverware. We should expect it! But don’t give in. Consider it an opportunity to apply God’s love—to help Johnny form a good habit.

After Johnny rebels, calmly take away the silverware, set it aside, pick him up, and exit the restaurant. After finding a private place, like in the car (drive around the block if you have to for privacy—especially in this day and age), explain to Johnny what he did. Something like, “Johnny, after you disturbed others by dropping your silverware, I told you very clearly not to touch the silverware. You disobeyed. And because I love you, I must teach you what I mean when I say ‘No.’”

After five or six firm swats on the bottom, the father then picks up Johnny and comforts him, reassuring him that forgiveness always comes with correction.

Notice what Garner Ted Armstrong then said in his booklet: “An unnecessarily lengthy procedure, you say? It is, if the only thing about which you are concerned is a little peace and quiet during one of the thousands of meals you are going to eat in your lifetime! Far from it, if you are concerned about rearing your child correctly, teaching him the meaning of parental authority and discipline, and using these minor incidents as a means toward the long-range goals.”

God says where there is no vision, people perish (Proverbs 29:18). He also says those parents who love their children will lovingly spank them on occasion (Proverbs 13:24). Like in the restaurant scenario, it may not always seem like the right thing to do; but if we have the vision to see the incident through to the end, what beautiful fruit it will bring forth. As Hebrews 12:11 says, “No chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Just think about all of the wonderful, peaceable meals we will enjoy with our well-behaved, obedient children, if we apply God’s practical law in every possible opportunity. Let’s get it right from the start so we can then enjoy the fruits of our labor.