As a young person in God’s Church, I learned that I was in a special category because of my mom. The Bible tells us clearly why God works with the youth in our Church: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy” (1 Corinthians 7:14).

Think about that! You could have been unclean, but instead, you are in a special category. God calls you holy—and it’s because of your believing parent. Because your mom or dad has God’s Holy Spirit, you are holy. As a young person, God’s spirit does not dwell in you. It can, however, work with you. You should be profoundly thankful to have a parent who does discern using God’s Holy Spirit.

The Apostle Paul praises mature Christians who “by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.” That’s something that requires God’s Holy Spirit. A young person does learn to do this in a more limited way, but primarily by relying on the judgment of their parents while in those vital training years. Still, even though young people might intellectually know that their parents have God’s power available to them, it is still tempting to substitute our own judgment for that of our parents. I certainly did.

We had weekly four-hour choir practices on Sunday in the wcg. All the other kids could play baseball, but my mom had strictly forbidden it—that didn’t seem fair. As a line drive plunged into my face one day, that didn’t seem fair. And the drive to the emergency room didn’t seem fair. Having the side of my head swollen beyond the capacity of sunglasses to cover didn’t seem fair.

It would have been difficult to obey my mom’s instruction not to play baseball, but if I had done so, I would have strengthened my character, I would not have experienced quite so much pain, and the vision in my left eye would be better than it is today.

Likewise, when my mom told me I shouldn’t read certain books—specifically, ones that had magic in them—that didn’t seem fair. My mom, though, didn’t outright forbid those books. She told me to decide and in a moment of compliance, I actually did it despite not understanding. Just a few years ago, Pastor Joel Hilliker was giving a Bible study explaining the result of Eastern mysticism on ancient Israel and suddenly, 20 years later, it was all clear to me. Those books were outright demonism, nothing less. I was holding the mind of Satan in my hand, and she discerned it—using God’s Spirit, which I didn’t have at the time.

Whenever I obeyed, I benefited from it. But in some cases, I had zero appreciation for it. It is my sincere hope that all of you do better. You can go further than simply tolerating your parents’ judgments—instead appreciate them as the God-given gifts they are.

What if your parent is wrong?

Ephesians 6:1 says: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” As a young person, I remember looking at this scripture and thinking, Oh, as long as it related to God’s commandments, I need to obey my parents. This is the letter of the law interpretation that says if your parent thunders into the room and tells you, “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy,” you’ll turn down the music and get ready for Church.

What it really means is if my dad, who is not in the Church, tells me to lie, I shouldn’t do that. But unless your parent—even your unbelieving parent—tells you to violate one of God’s commands outright, you have a responsibility to obey any instruction they give you in the Lord. If my mom tells me not to play baseball, I shouldn’t play baseball. And if I had been patient and willingly obedient, God might very well have worked it out so I could play baseball without injuring myself.

Even if your parent is stronger on something than they need to be—a judgment, by the way, that you certainly would not be able to make—you learn more by obeying your parents and submitting to their decades of wisdom than you do by consuming a questionable form of entertainment or by going out with your friends or by violating a curfew. Odds are, if your parents dislike it, it’s wrong. If it isn’t wrong in general, it’s still wrong for you.

Remember, Adam had God Himself there as a resource and still thought he knew what was best. The carnal man will always think he knows what’s best. Thank God that He did give you a believing parent—that He gave you what you need to receive right judgments. Don’t just wait for instructions and guidance from your parents. Seek it out! If your parents don’t like your movies, your music, your books, go to them and fix it. And it’s not a negotiation—it’s you receiving a priceless benefit from God Himself.

It’s more than simply obeying. It’s recognizing that your parents have the Spirit of God guiding their judgments, and that they use it on your behalf—for your benefit. Our access to God Himself is because of our believing parents, and their judgments are a gift from God. Treat those judgments like the gift they are, thanking God that you can rely on a believing, discerning parent.