Proverbs 31 “describes a woman who is capable, skilled, hard-working, dedicated, intelligent, wise, loving, humble and submissive to her husband,” Joel Hilliker wrote in “The Proverbs 31 Husband.”
Reading this wonderful description of a Proverbs 31 wife and her interaction with her Proverbs 31 husband has over the millennia inspired the imagination of many singles. “Almost every man has dreamed of being married to the Proverbs 31 woman, that near-super heroine who seems to be able to do it all” (Good News, February 1982). Likewise, it is a common dream among single ladies to become a Proverbs 31 wife.
But for many, being married remains a mere dream for far longer than they would like. The years of single life can feel long and burdensome. Yearning for the abundant married life can sometimes seem unbearable.
Like so many single men, I often envision a future with a wonderful wife at my side. She is a loving homemaker, decorates the house beautifully, serves, gives, makes me laugh, cheers me up, and inspires me forward. I think of the many projects we would do together: buying a house, transforming it into a home, building a service-oriented relationship, and living the give way of life for the benefit of those around us.
None of these projects I thought I could or would want to do as a single man. But the urgency of time and the counsel I received pushed me, despite my own will, into undertaking many of them. But with every need I had, every project I wanted to accomplish but felt inadequate to tackle alone, I found myself receiving unexpected and unsought help.
The house I bought is slowly transforming into a home: Plants are filling the windowsills, the variety of color is increasing, kitchen supplies are multiplying, meals are cooked, a garden is growing, a rose bush is flourishing, clothes are sewed, bread is baked, people are hosted, and events are organized. In addition, I find great encouragement, inspiration, joy and happiness on my dates.
I came to realize that I am surrounded by many service-oriented, Proverbs 31 single ladies. Proverbs 31 singles inspire, encourage and motivate each other to become Proverbs 31 husbands and wives.
Rarely have I asked for any of the above blessings, neither do I deserve them, but God’s singles community has provided them all and more. Often, there is little I can give, making the blessings I receive all the more overwhelming.
It is easy to occasionally grow discouraged by the lack of a Proverbs 31 mate. But with the right mindset, one can see the blessings the singles community provides. God has surrounded us with many virtuous singles to help us grow to become more and more like He is. Time is so short that we cannot afford to miss out on these opportunities as a single.
Of course, you should not expect the opposite sex in the singles community to shower you with every blessing described in the Proverbs. But you can certainly strive to provide some of them for others.
“Would you like a Proverbs 31 wife?” Mr. Hilliker asked. “Then work to become a Proverbs 31 husband!” One becomes a Proverbs 31 husband or wife by first striving as a single to acquire those same virtues.
This is a challenge we all need to accept.
To fulfill this ambitious goal, we need to contribute to a singles community that allows those virtues to blossom. I have noticed that many single ladies in God’s Church strive to become virtuous women. Seeing their dedication is inspiring, and at the same time it poses a challenge to single men to provide an environment for them to grow and flourish in.
Single men and women have just as many needs physically, mentally and spiritually as married couples. Through dating and interacting with the opposite sex, many of these needs can, to no small extent, be filled.
In addition to dreaming of the Proverbs 31 relationship, let’s strive to learn to fill the needs of the opposite sex. Let’s strive to provide an environment for great men and women to rise and shine. Let’s strive to exemplify Proverbs 31 qualities in our dating. The abundant single life is one of giving without expecting anything in return. But the blessings of God’s way of life for singles can make one wonder how life can get any better than it already is.