Humor and laughter can often play a critically important part in helping us get through our tests and trials. Yet, we must learn to be cautious and skilled in our use of humor. The misuse of humor can be offensive to others—can actually add to another person’s test or trial. Let’s learn the art of humor.

Paul admonished the Ephesian church, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving” (Ephesian 5:4; English Standard Version). Coarse sexual jokes and innuendo are never appropriate for any social setting. In a similar vein, modern perverse and evil uses of sex should never be made light or fun of—sin is never a laughing matter. People should want to be thankful they came into contact with us—not want to run away the next time they see us coming. Study Ephesians 5:5. Our character is revealed by how we relate to others. If we are crude in our conversation, we will not only offend others, we could lose out on the Kingdom.

A skilled humorist recognizes that not all jokes are funny to all people. This is especially true of ethnic jokes. We must recognize that many people are carnally sensitive about their national origin. Some jokes about the Dutch, Italians, Irish, Jews, Poles and Scots are full of contempt and ridicule. Each nationality has different, yet incredibly wonderful, character and personality traits. Appreciating national differences is to respect God’s desire to create variety within His own family. Every nationality also has its weaknesses. Lighthearted stories that teach life lessons from an ethnic foible can be appropriate in the right situation. However, the storyteller must avoid putting one from another nationality in a bad light. Racial jokes are never appropriate.

In a similar vein we must never forget that few people enjoy being put down. Every human being has bodily, as well as character, imperfections. To make fun of another’s body imperfections is some of the most cruel type of humor. Ask any teenager. They will tell you that physical appearance “put downs” are the most vicious kind of bullying. Making fun of someone’s nose, ears, shape, size or stature is one of the most demeaning things that can be done to a person. Deriding someone in front of others because of a mistake they may have made is not only embarrassing, it can critically scar an individual’s sense of self-worth. Generally people that have a habit of putting others down are insecure in themselves. For example, the put down is the kind of humor that most late-night talk show hosts employ to get the biggest laughs. However, it is often uncovered that many of the most popular tv talk show hosts have a glaring insecurity that they work hard to keep hidden. Unfortunately, many in the viewing public have been well-schooled in imitating these “personally insecure” television personalities. Let’s not be among their number.

We should avoid the practice of instigating practical jokes that embarrass or make our brethren look foolish. Paul would call this kind of joking “foolish … jesting.” In essence, as God’s royal Family, we should avoid buffoonery, foolishness and worldly silliness. This does not mean that funny picnic-type games are inappropriate. In fact, humorous group-oriented games that are not taken too far can add a lot of merriment to a social occasion. We must all seek to maintain a lighthearted and humorous attitude so we can laugh at ourselves—even publicly at times. Let’s not be so sensitive that we cannot see the humor in some of the mistakes that we do make. We should be able to take a joke. Even if someone puts us down uncaringly, we should be able to let it roll off our back. Having a good sense of humor builds many friendships.

Many comedians practice hard to deliver the punch line at just the right time. We can learn much from the best comics. There is a right time to use humor, or say something funny. There is the wrong time. A joke told at a casual gathering may be totally inappropriate when retold on the Sabbath day. Knowing when to use humor appropriately is a skill that not only requires practice; it must be founded on God’s love.

It does require education, effort and practiced skill to use humor to lift someone else’s spirit. Abraham Lincoln was a master of humor. He spent a lifetime collecting funny stories about human foibles. This kind of humor teaches life lessons. In fact, the Bible is full of such stories. Who does not chuckle at the history of Balaam and his donkey that chided him? (Numbers 22:21-31). Doesn’t this story show that God obviously has a sense of humor? We need to have more humor like our Father—He is the expert at the art of humor.