During Sabbath services in a congregation with a number of children, life happens on two levels. Only one carries on at the eye level of the average adult.

If you’re not paying attention, you’ll overlook the fact that there is a parallel world, often very active, happening just a few feet closer to the ground. You’ll overlook it, that is, until it breaks your concentration on the sermon or interrupts your fellowship.

Every member of God’s Church should try to bridge the gap between these two worlds. Children need regular, positive interactions with adults who show an interest in them so they really do grow up feeling included within God’s spiritual Family.

But for those of us who produced these children, we have a responsibility we cannot abdicate. We must not become so engrossed in our adult world at services that we lose track of what’s happening with our children.

Each of us must ensure that they uphold God’s Philadelphian standards at Church services.

This requires diligence, consistency and firmness—as well as some creativity and understanding.

God wants the Sabbath to be a “delight”—even for our children (Isaiah 58:13). Twenty-four hours of being expected to be quiet, sit still and do nothing won’t be a delight to even the most mild-mannered child.

Be sure to provide appropriate ways to make this weekly holy time special and enjoyable for them, whatever their age. Spend extra time with them. Read together. Talk. Walk together. Make Sabbath meals special. Have special quiet toys, dolls, books or activities that they can only use on the Sabbath. Supply a nice backpack, handbag or briefcase for their supplies for services.

When you have very young children, your first goal is to ensure that you can receive the instruction during services with as few interruptions as possible.

To that end, very young children must be blanket trained at home. Set the blanket on the floor and sit in a chair facing it. Train your child to play silently on the blanket without getting off. (At home you can verbally label everything outside the blanket as “no” and discipline quickly when the child tests these boundaries.) Establish a routine so the child can fall asleep by himself on the blanket even while someone is speaking. These habits simply cannot be taught at services. They must be trained and enforced in your own home during the week.

As you do your “homework,” you will reap the benefits of fewer and fewer interruptions during services. Every child is different—but by about one year (often before that), the child should be able to nap or play quietly through most if not all of services without needing to be taken out of the room. It takes consistent effort, but the rewards are immeasurable in terms of your being able to drink in the Sabbath messages!

Don’t expect a child to sit still, quietly, with nothing to do. Make sure she has silent toys, little snacks and a sippy cup to keep herself occupied.

Train your children not to distract you or demand your attention while the minister is speaking. Enforce a no-talking rule. Whispering can easily get out of hand and should be avoided except in real emergencies.

Keep an eye on what’s happening in your children’s world. Anytime you notice their behavior during services slipping and beginning to impinge on your attentiveness to the messages, then be prepared to put in more “homework.”

As children grow closer to school age, your goal will shift toward preparing them to receive the messages at services.

Begin by training them to sit still in a chair. Again, practice at home. The Plain Truth About Child Rearing says, “Teach your child to sit still at various times during the day for periods of 5 to 10 minutes, or even longer. On occasion, have your child sit still, allowing him to look at a picture book, or color, or some similar pursuit, for as long as an hour or longer. In this way, you can begin to instill a vitally important habit in your child at a very early age.”

During Church services, by around age 5 (again, these are only rough guidelines) a child should be able to sit in his chair at least through the sermonette, perhaps even through announcements or longer. Before long he will have no trouble sitting for the full two hours.

Throughout this time, also keep your children involved in the other aspects of services. Be sure they bow their head and keep their eyes closed during the prayers. Get them involved in the song service, pointing to the words as they go by in the hymnal, encouraging them to sing along—or at least to make a “joyful noise.”

Once a child begins reading and writing, you should gradually challenge him to apply these skills within Church services, in using the Bible and taking notes.

Be alert to the time when a child will appreciate and be able to care for a Bible—probably sometime in first or second grade. Teach her the books of the Bible (the song on the Philadelphia Singers’ youth album is a great tool for this). Make a game of it as you help her practice finding scriptures that you call out.

Teach your child to take notes during services first by having him copy scriptures and key phrases from your own notes. Start by only having him do it during the sermonette. Gradually increase your expectations, having him take down more of his own notes for longer stretches.

As much as possible, find ways to reward your children for progressing and doing things right, rather than punishing them for failing to meet your expectations. Again, you are teaching them that the Sabbath is a delight!

Depending on your child’s academic ability and maturity, sometime between third and fourth grade is probably a good target for him to be able to listen and take notes for the duration of services.

As your children grow, establish a habit of talking about the messages together. See how much they’re learning. Reinforce important points. Train them in the way of being attentive to what God teaches, and when they are old, they won’t depart from it.

In my next column, we’ll talk about how to maintain the Philadelphian standard in our children’s behavior before and after services.