Life can be discouraging. You worked really hard on that paper. You get a 78 out of 100. You prepared diligently for your musical performance. Then, in front of everyone, your memory lapses. A project that seemed simple turns out to be tricky, time-consuming, under-appreciated and not worthwhile. You strive to meet a challenging goal; you even pray about it. And still you fall short of attaining it.
What do you do when you smack face-first into failure? Do you get negative and whiny? Do you allow discouragement to overwhelm you? Do you give up?
Letdowns happen to us all. How we respond is what’s important.
I recently encountered this poem that speaks to the need to keep life’s struggles, obstacles and failures in perspective.
’Tis a lesson you should heed,
Try, try again;
If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try again;
Then your courage should appear,
For, if you will persevere,
You will conquer, never fear;
Try, try again.Once or twice though you should fail,
Try, try again;
If you would at last prevail,
Try, try again;
If we strive, ’tis no disgrace
Though we do not win the race;
What should you do in the case?
Try, try again.If you find your task is hard,
Try, try again;
Time will bring you your reward,
Try, try again;
All that other folks can do,
Why, with patience, should not you?
Only keep this rule in view:
Try, try again.
Why try again when it’s so much easier to sigh again or cry again and just give up? Because failure is part of learning.
That’s right. Nobody is an instant expert. If you’re pushing yourself and doing hard things and learning and growing, you’re going to fail. If something is really worth doing, it will take time, effort and yes, failure, to learn it!
I often see young people lose interest in a thing the moment they realize they’re not awesome at it. They are unwilling to put in the sweat to learn a new skill.
If you only do what comes easy to you and what you’re already good at, you will be stuck in mediocrity. If, when you fail, you give up, you will never grow. It was true when you were learning to talk; it’s true as you’re learning to deliver a speech.
“What is defeat?” Wendell Phillips said. “Nothing but education; nothing but the first steps to something better.”
Ever watched a baby first learning to walk? It is magnificent. This tiny human is amusingly awkward—on the edge of disaster at all times—repeatedly falling on his diaper-padded tushie. And yet he is happy, wide-eyed, exhilarated—acting like these unsteady steps are spiking his adrenaline like the final strides up the peak of Everest.
Now, imagine the baby who, after a handful of failed walking attempts, gives up in exasperation. Now he’s 17 years old, still crawling on his hands and knees. “Yeah—I tried walking. Not my thing. I’ve got no talent.” Yeah. Awkward.
Of Herbert W. Armstrong’s seven laws of success, the sixth is perseverance. “[N]ine in ten, at least once or twice in a lifetime, come to the place where they appear to be totally defeated! All is lost!—apparently, that is,” he wrote. “They give up and quit, when just a little more determined hanging on, just a little more faith and perseverance—just a little more stick-to-it-iveness—would have turned apparent certain failure into glorious success.”
Learning to gracefully handle disappointment and to bounce back from failure will make you a lot more successful at a lot more things in your life. The person who remains positive, learns from his mistakes, applies the lessons of a failure, and charges forward for another attempt is the person who ultimately nails it.
Here is a wonderful proverb to remember: “For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief” (Proverbs 24:16). Everybody falls. When the wicked fall, they don’t get back up. But when the righteous fall, they refuse to give up. They rise to their feet and keep moving forward. “Seven times” is an expression that means over and over, again and again.
Here’s another scriptural promise you can keep in mind: “The Lord upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down” (Psalm 145:14). When you fall, God will revive you. When you’re discouraged, God will pick you up and encourage you, just like a parent who is excitedly helping his toddler learn how to walk.
So, you failed. Don’t be discouraged by the fact that you’re human like the rest of us. Think it through, get counsel, learn what you can from the mistake. Rise up, lift your chin, and move forward. The harder you work for something, the sweeter it will be when you achieve it.