The idea of gender is under attack in our modern world! And it’s coming from two seemingly opposite schools of thought.

One is that gender differences don’t actually exist—that our views of such differences are the result of a cultural brainwashing—so, under the guise of “equality,” society blurs the two genders into one androgynous mix.

The other school of thought is that gender differences do exist—but that they are independent of our actual physical endowments. A man can think he’s a woman, or vice versa. Someone can undergo all sorts of medical procedures and drug cocktails to have the body overhauled to that of the opposite sex.

So you can be a man and think completely like a woman. But wait! How is that possible if there’s no real difference between men and women (as the first school of thought tells us)? Our gender-bender society is speaking out of both sides of its mouth.

The sex-change example is an extreme case of this second school of thought. A more subtle manifestation of it is how society tells us that one gender is different—even better—than another. Men are brutish, capable of only a handful of contributions to society, but women can do it all and have it all. Again, how is that possible, if there’s no real difference between men and women?

God, who created us male and female, reveals in His Word that there are basic differences between the two sexes—physical and mental. In fact, He requires us to know these differences.

This will help combat these confusing and, frankly, perverted signals from society when it comes to the beautiful differences between the two genders. God created these differences for a magnificent purpose.

When I list some of these differences, we might cringe a little. We might bristle up or brace for insult—because society has told us that these differences are unfashionable or inequitable. But keep in mind, from the start, that these differences have nothing to do with one gender’s superiority or inferiority. All these traits certainly come with tremendous advantages, but they also come with weaknesses. For instance, a gender that generally favors an “emotional” response over a “logical” one doesn’t necessarily make one gender better than the other—both responses have their strengths. And God created one gender to complement—to complete—the other. Obviously, He wouldn’t do that by making one full of superior characteristics and the other full of inferior ones!

Equal But Different

When God talks about His Church, He talks about all the members functioning together as an actual body (see 1 Corinthians 12). Just as your hands do different things than your feet, so do different members within the body of Christ—the Church. All the members fit together beautifully, like a jigsaw puzzle.

Or like an orchestra. I help conduct the Armstrong Youth Orchestra here on the Herbert W. Armstrong College campus. It is comprised of fifth graders up to college students. Male or female has nothing to do with the musical abilities of its members. But the instruments themselves were created to make certain kinds of sounds.

Should the violins be insulted if I tell them they can’t play as low as the cellos? Of course not! Their strings are not as long as cello strings. And if a violinist insisted on playing the cello part instead of the part that was written for him or her, that violinist would be thoroughly frustrated at how many notes that were intended for the cello simply cannot come out of the violin. And that violinist would be upsetting the delicate balance of the orchestration as intended by the composer or arranger.

The same is true in a marital relationship—where the roles of husband and wife are based on the God-created differences between the genders. The male is a certain kind of instrument, and the female is another, complementary instrument. If a husband and wife properly understand each other’s differences, then both can work together to capitalize on one another’s strengths, make up for each other’s weaknesses, and not allow those differences to frustrate or divide them!

Notice a key verse on this subject: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” (1 Peter 3:7).

This verse supports the idea of gender equality! It shows that men and women are “heirs together of the grace of life.” One is not smarter or more mature while the other is less intelligent or more like a child. In terms of God’s purpose for humanity, being a man or a woman doesn’t make one more or less qualified to inherit “the grace of life”—that is, eternal life in God’s Family.

However, gender equality does not mean both genders are the same. In this verse, we also see stark differences between men and women, and in the marriage union, husbands are instructed to know those gender differences, so they can dwell with their wives “according to knowledge.”

In the case of this verse, the differences noted are largely physical. The woman is the “weaker vessel.” Now, ladies, don’t be offended. God doesn’t call you the “weak vessel”—just “weaker” than men. Though Proverbs 31 talks about even the physical strength of godly women, God did make the man with a larger, more muscular frame. The Greek word for “weaker” in this verse means “more sensitive” or “fragile.” But certainly women are not weak. A case in point: God created the female to bear children, which is a significant muscular activity which requires immense strength and bodily resilience. But because of your ”more sensitive” frame, that provides you different things to offer—just as the smaller violin offers different tonal colors in the orchestra than the larger cellos.

Not Just Physically Different

You already know the most obvious physical difference between you and the opposite sex: You have different reproductive organs. But in addition to those basic differences are a whole host of major contrasts between male and female—differences that are both physical and mental. As Herbert W. Armstrong wrote in The Missing Dimension in Sex: “The genital apparatus exercises a considerable influence on the life-sustaining functions. The female sex hormones cause a woman’s body and mind to be feminine. The male sex hormones cause a man’s body and mind to be masculine.”

Every cell within a man’s body has a different chromosome and genetic makeup than that of a woman. The male’s Y chromosome became “the first human chromosome to be thoroughly decoded” after six years of lab work, which was reported back in the June 19, 2003, Los Angeles Times. This research “revealed that the tiny chromosome responsible for the male of the species is more subtle, robust and complex than previously believed. It has a unique way of keeping its indispensable genes intact, they found, that sidesteps the conventional genetic shuffling on which all other chromosomes depend. Their discoveries are prompting researchers to rethink the genetic basis for the myriad differences men and women in anatomy, physiology, cognition, behavior and disease susceptibility.” Cognition refers to the mental process.

That’s right: Boys and girls think differently.

Beyond the basic physical differences between the two sexes, do you understand the vast differences in the minds of male and female? 1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands in particular to know these things. It is vital in the marital relationship, but it also something all of us need to understand—no matter what our ages. Not understanding these mental differences can lead to misunderstandings, arguments and even hostility. And living in this androgynous, gender-hazy generation, young people—future husbands and wives, fathers and mothers—must know these differences even now to have the most enriching relationships with siblings, acquaintances and friends.

The Differences Are …

So let’s discuss these differences. One more clarification before we get into these: Just as individuals differ in physical size, strength and appearance, so do we vary as to the degree we possess or use these certain mental attributes that God intended for males and females to have.

Add to this that some lack these attributes simply because of the societal influences that are warping and distorting the differences God intended between the two genders. Improper childrearing, upside-down or dysfunctional homes, and even faulty diet have contributed to the blurring of lines and the diminishing numbers of masculine men and feminine women.

That being said, here are eight God-intended differences between males and females that are based on biblical principles and easily backed up by honest research.

First, a man’s mind is generally more objective—meaning, he relies more on concrete facts than on feelings. He is usually more stable emotionally (though he shouldn’t be devoid of emotion). A woman’s mind is generally more subjective—she’s often more perceptive and intuitive (meaning she bases decisions on what might be felt, even without concrete facts to support them). She will more freely express her emotions, and this can cause her to go to pieces during a crisis. However, this intuition can also cause her to see through conniving women, for instance. Again, both characteristics of each gender have positive and negative manifestations—but certainly, paired together, they complement each other powerfully.

Second, the male is usually more analytical—more apt to probe deeply into a problem and think things through. This makes him more deliberate—taking longer to reach a final decision. The female mind, conversely, is content to take certain things at face value rather than see through a clever argument or sales pitch. It can make her prone to hasty decisions. But on the positive side, it also allows her to make quick decisions when necessary (for example, in the case of the home where the mom might need to act quickly based on certain emergencies that may arise).

Third, a man—after deliberating for a long time—will generally be much more decisive and stick with that decision. Women, in many cases, are averse to making major decisions. Again, God created this to be complementary to the man, to have her look to him in the marital relationship for making those final decisions that God entrusted to the husband’s office.

Fourth, the male mind typically has a broader perspective: It is usually better at seeing the overview. The female is more detail-oriented—particularly in her areas of expertise. She is more interested in talking about practical everyday concerns and human-related topics. Interestingly, studies have found that women tend to utter an average of 20,000 words a day—compared with only 13,000 for men.

Fifth, the male is generally more aggressive. He is physically built for action and is usually more adventurous and daring. The female is more security-conscious—designed to respond to what the male initiates. His “aggressiveness” doesn’t make him inferior to her, just as her being designed to respond to his initiations doesn’t make her less of a human than he is. They are simply different—and they are intended to complement each other.

Sixth, though humans are all creative in a number of astounding ways, men are more inventive and creative in the societal sphere (men still outnumber women in many creative fields); however, women are more inventive and creative within the family sphere. These two parts of one whole make for a beautiful pairing of character traits.

Seventh, males generally have thicker skin; females are generally more sensitive—even to constructive criticism, but especially to negative comments or cutting remarks. Any boy who has a sister living under the same roof with him should take note and handle his female co-habitant with tender consideration and care!

Eighth, God created the man to love, and He created the woman to be loved.

Pointing to the Marriage Union

These differences were created to complement the other. The woman was created to complete the man. It doesn’t mean he was inferior to woman—nor does it mean she is inferior because of that created purpose! But they are two parts of one whole.

These differences manifest themselves in the form of dress and hairstyles. The Bible clearly states that the women should have the longer hair of the two genders (see 1 Corinthians 11:3-15), and that this physical difference is connected to how the marriage union is organized in terms of who leads—that is, who is responsible directly to God for the operation of this couple.

In the marriage union, the two were designed to complete each other—even to become “one flesh” through the sexual act. You can read that in Matthew 19:4-5. This passage shows that, because God made us male and female, He ordained the marriage union.

But God didn’t just make both sexes simultaneously out of the dust of the ground. He made the woman from a rib out of the man to show how they were to function as one and to do so permanently in this life. To ensure there was no confusion as to His purpose for marriage, God made the first married couple literally from one human body. Before God created Eve from one of Adam’s ribs, Adam was physically incomplete.

Different Needs

Finally, these mental differences between male and female present different, fundamental needs of each gender.

Teenage girls should understand these basic needs of a man. Young ladies: You can apply these to your relationships with boys your age—whom you should view as brothers.

A man needs to be admired, respected and encouraged. He needs honest feedback and appreciation. He needs to be understood for his unique interests, drives and ambitions. He needs a sense of self-worth. He needs his sisters to be enthusiastic about and responsive to his suggestions and ideas.

Teenage boys should understand the basic needs of a woman.

Young men: You can apply these to your relationship with girls your age—whom you should view as sisters.

A woman needs attention, approval and sincere compliments. She needs strong personal relationships and to know her opinions are valued. She needs to be loved, respected and treated with tenderness. She needs comfort, safety and understanding of her physical limitations. She needs to know that her brothers are watching out for her welfare.

Teenagers, brothers and sisters, youth of society—take note of these differences. Grow in your respective character traits. Not only can you better serve as the perfect complement to your mate in the future, you can be a better sibling and friend to the opposite sex now.