The horse surged forward in a burst of speed, and I was thrilled—even though I had done nothing to cause this development. As we went off the trail, galloping by the trees and through the river, it became evident that this horse loved to run. Soon, though, I discovered that the horse would not stop. And these bursts of uncontrollable speed happened over and over, turning my delight to terror.

I am not exactly a cowboy. I had never ridden a horse outside of a Church activity in my life, and those horses were under control and barely moving to begin with. On this day, our guide was all too aware of my inexperience and was positive that I was the problem here. “Just pull back, and the horse will stop.” And here I was, pulling for everything I was worth—with no result.

The idea that I was somehow bringing this on was entirely plausible. But as the ride went on, and the horse continually bolted at will, I became less convinced that I was to blame.

This horse had a mind of its own.

After a final terrifying ride at high speed, I jumped off the horse. Our guide took one last look and discovered that the bit was under the horse’s chin—not in its mouth where it would actually do some good.

Given the situation, it was impossible not to think of James 3:3: “Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.”

Truer words were never spoken. With the bit returned to its proper location, we discovered that I could ride the horse just fine—not that I’m planning a return trip!

The Apostle James gives us this metaphor as a warning—there is an even more powerful force than a horse that we often fail to control. But before he identifies this culprit, he gives an even more forceful metaphor: “Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth” (verse 4). With the image of an uncontrollable horse not having made the point strongly enough, James turns to the sea and the winds beating a ship, yet with control established and maintained by one helmsman.

Still, his point not yet fully made, James moves on to the most fervent of elements: raging fire (verse 5). Can you control that?

This barely controllable force of nature that the apostle compared to an out-of-control horse, a ship battered by wind and rain, and a raging fire is your tongue. If I’m being honest about it, my tongue can run circles around that horse—and so can yours! Many of the problems that both adults and teens experience are a direct result of not carefully monitoring what we say and how we say it. And as strong as the scriptures we discussed above are, James 3 gets stronger still:

“And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison” (verses 6-8).

Not only is our use of the tongue out of control, no man can control it. Many barely make the attempt. Men are able to tame all sorts of wild animals, but not the tongue—for that, we need something special. When you ride a horse, that is a powerful set of muscles underneath you, and you need the bit to be in its mouth. Each of us, as God’s children, needs a spiritual bit in our mouths.

Otherwise, as James warns at the beginning of the chapter, we will constantly offend people: “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body” (verse 2). How do we offend people? By gossiping about our friends and neighbors, by corrupt language and by thoughtless comments—whether out loud or online. You need that spiritual bit in your mouth that only God can supply; you need to keep your hands firmly on the helm of your ship with His help.

We praise God with the same mouth that we use to curse men, James observes. Your mouth speaks both good and evil—and this should not be so (verse 9-10). If we are wise, we will show “… out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom” (verse 13). If we are submitted to God, we will speak positive, uplifting, edifying words.

James details the results we will receive if we submit to the wisdom that is from above: “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace” (verse 17-18). If you are really asking God for His help in how you deal with your words and with other people, you will be someone who makes peace.

Let’s all pray to God that He will gently give us what we so desperately need: a spiritual bit in the mouth.