It is very difficult being a teen in God’s true Church today. Teens have many decisions to make. The path you’re on leads to joy and happiness, but it is a straight and narrow one.

There is one crucial decision that you have to make. It could have favorable—or devastating—consequences on the rest of your life. It’s a choice that you might take lightly and not put enough thought into if you don’t realize the importance of the decision.

It’s about deciding, Who are your true friends?

What is a true friend? How does a true friend differ from just a friend or acquaintance? What special qualities or character does a true friend have?

These are all important questions that you need to answer for yourself right now at this important juncture in your life. Let’s start by answering what is a true friend.

In your lifetime, you are going to have many acquaintances: at school, at work, at activities in your neighborhood. You may even consider some of them your friends. However, would you consider them true friends?

Here are some ways to decide.

A true friend is someone who agrees with you on what matters most.

In Amos 3:3, God asks, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” A true friend shares the same goals. He or she has common interests and desires.

Our greatest desire and main goal in God’s Church should be to draw close to God, to put Him first, and to not allow anyone or anything to come before Him.

So can a friend in the world qualify as a true friend? Actually, no. Friends in the world can never share or understand your deepest feelings about the one thing that is most important to you, because they do not know God. Not yet.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you,” (John 15:13-15).

This says that Christ’s true friends are those who obey Him, those who walk with Him and agree with Him. To be in agreement with the world and its ways is what the Bible calls the friendship of the world. James wrote about that in chapter 4: to be “a friend of the world is to be an enemy of God.”

You can’t have one foot in the Church and the other in the world. If you are hanging around with the wrong people, Satan will get to you.

In the Fall 2000 True Education, Joel Hilliker wrote, “Peer pressure is an easy thing to give in to. Hanging around people who are prone to inappropriate activity is a sure way to get involved in it yourself. You will also be subject to the consequences and punishments they face when caught—sometimes, even if you weren’t directly participating. It’s called ‘guilt by association.’ It is best to just stay away from such people …” (“How to Choose Your Friends”). You must be careful whom you consider your true friends.

Your truest friend is God.

Did you know that the great God of the Old Testament, the one who later became Jesus Christ, had a true friend? In Isaiah 41:8, God referred to Abraham as “my friend.” James 2:23 says Abraham was called the “Friend of God.” Abraham was just a human being like you and me, yet God called him His friend. What an honor!

Abraham was not a friend of the world. He forsook the world—you have to if you choose to be a friend to God instead. God told Abraham to leave his homeland, his family, and whatever acquaintances he had. Genesis 12:4 states, “So Abram departed ….” He obeyed God. This is a tremendous example of a true friend.

Study Genesis 12 and Hebrews 11, and really meditate on them.

God is a Father. He calls us His sons, but He also desires that we be His true friends.

God shows us that a father or parent can also be a true friend. Respect and listen to your parents’ advice.

Build a solid friendship with your parents. Your parents’ roles, first and most importantly, are those of father and mother—they can never compromise that responsibility. But you can certainly broaden your relationship with them by being obedient and honoring your father and mother like Abraham did. Your parents will welcome a friendship with you, as God did with Abraham.

Who knows you better than your parents? Who has always been there for you, caring for you, helping you? Who loves you more than your parents? Who always wants the best for you? Who sacrifices for you? Besides God, whom would you consider a better friend than your parents?

The world under Satan’s influence wants you to think your parents don’t understand you and that they are your enemy. It is common for teenagers to hide things from their parents. This is dangerous. Unfortunately, that is how so many young people wind up in serious trouble, on drugs, or pregnant.

If your parents tell you to stay away from someone, there is probably a good reason why. I remember my mom telling me to stay away from a certain “friend.” I thought, But we are always going to be friends. That was over 30 years ago, and I have not seen nor heard from him. My mom was always right; she could see certain character flaws in my so-called friends that I couldn’t see as a teen.

On the same note, like your parents, the ministry is here to guide you and give you counsel. They are here to help you draw close to God.

Christ, the head of this Church, understands the value of true friendship. We can learn from His example. He was a caring friend to His disciples.

Christ confided in His disciples, He shared His most precious secrets with them, He talked about His Father with them (John 15:15). To be God’s true friends, we too need to confide in Him. We need to pour our hearts out to Him in prayer. God confides in us through His word and Holy Spirit, so we must be daily spending time in prayer and Bible study.

Satan doesn’t want you to have a close friendship with God. He is doing everything in his power to entice you to become a friend to the world. Satan knows that if you do, you can no longer be a friend to God.

Maybe you think it might be easier to not have any friends at all—to be a loner. Well, Satan also preys on the lonely. They are perhaps his easiest targets.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your only true friend is yourself. Satan’s tactic is to get you off by yourself and bombard you with negative feelings. We can’t be ignorant of Satan’s devices. Spending too much time alone causes you to focus on yourself. It doesn’t develop the way of give—instead, it promotes self-centeredness. This is one major reason God intended us to have true friendships. It is very important that we build these friendships within the Church.

Fellowship is another part of testing and developing true friendship.

How much time do you spend fellowshiping? Malachi 3:16 says, “Then they that feared the Lord spake often one to another: and the Lord hearkened, and heard it ….” Do you take advantage of every opportunity to fellowship? Do you present yourself as someone who is friendly and easy to talk to? Do you talk to the elderly? Did you ever think that maybe the elderly man in the wheelchair might actually turn out to be a true friend? Do you go out of your way to introduce yourself to new members and try to make them feel comfortable?

Fellowship is one major way we build true friendships within the Family of God.

Choosing your friends is a very serious decision. You can’t afford to take it casually. Make sure you seek God’s wisdom and your parents’ advice when deciding who your true friends are.